can we create something beautiful and then destroy it?

taintedbliss.tumblr.com
 
this is what happens when i listen to set it off while trying to come up with a url man idk
freak show is just an amazing song wow
okay
so yeah
that's my new tumblr
wow follow dat shit :-))

okay,
so it's been a while since i've been online.
but i've been having a lot of personal issues, and so my absence hasn't been without a reason.
 
basically, there were issues between some friends and i, as well as a lot of relationship issues and fighting before jordan ended things with me a couple of weeks ago.
before all that, however, around a month ago, my grandpa was admitted into the hospital due to his parkinsons and dementia, and so i've been there visiting him a lot as well as trying to do all my school stuff and home responsibilities.
i'm sorry i've been gone so long, but my depression has also gotten pretty bad lately and so i've just kind of been really lazy and i haven't wanted to do much of anything.
my energy and motivation levels have been pretty low.
 
so yeah, feel free to yell at me for being gone for so long without giving anyone any warning.
i'm not dead, i promise.
 

 
tagginggggg
 
@an-unknown-world
@anotheryouthfuldream
@giants
@itsjustmekiri
@lorensatlantic
@missing-you
@na-na-na-na-na-natman
@syd-the-pirate
@saltedpeanuts
@vulture
@x-coolstorybr0
@xoxo-e-m-m-a
@zemmyexistsbitches

so i've been sorta mia lately :$
sorry, life has just been very...
busy.
and stressful.
and i haven't really had much time to be online.
BUT
i am here today :3
 
so rp?
 
skins - marc, ava, noah, gwen
creep - nate, maroon
warped bands recovery center - taylor, oli, garrett, blake, eliza, pierce, sheridan, delilah
private~

Ava sat on the curb outside, a cigarette between her lips and her phone in her hands. She was texting her brother about how Carson had been doing, and about if she'd gotten her Christmas present. Ava felt like a terrible mother, mainly because she wasn't there but partially because she sent the present late and she didn't know if it would've been received on time. Inhaling smoke into her lungs, she released it a few seconds later in an exasperated sigh. She feels so stupid...
 
Noah was bored with people. He just really wants someone to come spend time with him, to give him so attention and some affection. He has to admit it, he hasn't had sex in way too long and he feels so neglected... No one has even tried to get with him, and it's been a bit of a punch to his self esteem.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
 
~
 
okay so i haven't made a non-roleplay set in forever so here's an update on my life.
 
my hair is blue and purple, and fabulous.
it's getting kinda long now, to the bottoms of my shoulder blades! :3
i lurve it.
 
my grandpa's parkinsons is getting way worse and so my parents and aunt and uncle are going through the motions of putting him into a nursing home because he can't live on his own anymore.
he's a danger to himself and such, not fun.
 
i'm not failing math!!!!
that alone should get me a round of applause, thanks.
 
i got myself a boyfriend a week and a half ago. :3
december 23rd, 2012 at around 1:30am :P
he's a sweetheart.
his name is jordan and he's transgender and he's got blue eyes and he's not much taller than me which is great and he's actually the sweetest guy ever.
i'm getting attached way too quickly, but i dunno.
he's perfect to me, way sweeter than i ever thought i'd get.
 
i got an amp for my electric guitar for christmas so i'll be playing with that quite a bit from now on.
 
uhm idk i'm currently sick and i have no voice.
which sucks.
but jordan gave me new years kisses and cuddles last night anyway so.
he said it was worth it. :P
yup.
 

 
so there's what has happened in my life..
nothing really important but yeah.
 

tagging because fu.ck yeah
 
@aprilyn
@giants
@lorensatlantic
@the-misfits
@na-na-na-na-na-natman
@syd-the-pirate
@an-unknown-world
@vulture
@zemmyexistsbitches
@missing-you

@lorensatlantic
hay

@na-na-na-na-na-natman
okie i hope that he's an okay model.
idk i think he's might fine!!
 

Hazel stood by the snack table in the large room, full of only a single table of light snacks and a circle of uncomfortable plastic chairs. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to spend her time listening to people go on about their cancer, she was a little bit occupied with her own. She recognized all the faces in the room, though there were still five minutes left until the meeting was meant to start. Plenty of time for someone else to come.. There was beautiful, blonde Maria, cured of her leukemia, young Issac who, though he's missing one leg, is completely fine and cured of his osteosarcoma, Mitchell who is in remission from his lung cancer, and a few others who were either getting better, or completely better. She never feels like she can completely relate to these people, because she's always been terminal. There's never really been a chance of her getting through this, and she knows it.

maroon shifted her bag on her shoulder, then picked her guitar up again and started walking to the park. she always goes to play at the park, no one ever goes there anyway. children seem too busy with their computers to really have fun nowadays. she misses when she could walk by the park and see kids playing and having fun.
 
nate, fighting off a hangover as usual, sat out on the curb outside his apartment building smoking a cigarette. he didn't smoke inside because of leah, but he did still need to feed the addiction. he wishes that he could still be sleeping, but leah needed food and to get to her dance class, so he was awake and he felt terrible.

audition form
✉ name: nathanial "nate" evan styles
✉age: eighteen
✉sexuality: gay
✉bio: nate has always prefered to be out at night, he's just always felt safer when he could hide behind shadows. he has also always known he was gay, he just never told anyone his parents knew. his parents hit him anyway, smacked him around whenever he did something wrong, they did the same to his sister leah. when he started to date greg, he thought that maybe things would look up, but when his eighteenth birthday hit things spun downhill. he grew the balls to confess about the abuse to save leah, but he didn't think about how hard it would be to support himself and a seven year old before hand. so now, at parties and between parties, he's out dealing the heaviest and most expesnive drugs he can get his hands on, just hoping that he'll be able to pay all the bills each month as well as get leah everything her little heart desires. everything he's done has been for her.
✉secret: he's dealing harder drugs than anyone knows about
✉face claim: t33zy/terrence

audition form
✉ name: maroon anamarie estrada
✉age: 17
✉sexuality: straight
✉bio: maroon has always been a little quiet, a little awkward. she was too busy stuffing her nose into a book or teaching herself a new song on guitar or piano to really pay attention to anyone else around her. she kept to herself, only really talking to a couple of people. she lost her best friend the day her sister committed suicide, maroon herself being the one to find her bloody body on their shared bedroom's floor. music and reading became her escape, she lost herself in the stories and song. when she formed the band with matt and lance, she thought that it would completely help her get better and get over everything that had happened, but it didn't. she read her sister's diary one day, seeing all about her eating habits and she started to mimic that just because she missed her so much. she completely screwed herself over, and became even more of a reserved person than she was before. she's completely closed herself off from everyone except for matt and lance.
✉secret: she's bulimic, but it's not so she'll be skinny, it's because she wants to feel closer to her late sister who was also bulimic
✉face claim: carrie